Autonomie, intimité, étonnement

Quatre de mes petits enfants s’échelonnent de 13 à 18 ans. Nous étions de mariage récemment, et ils formaient une petite équipe bien sympathique. J’ai eu un grand plaisir à discuter avec chacun. Dans ces circonstances festives, il est facile de s’isoler un moment ; ils sont en confiance, portés par l’ambiance ; et puis, ils commencent à me connaître.

Nous restons avec mon épouse assez proches de nos enfants et de nos petits-enfants. Nous sommes donc au courant de ce qu’ils vivent, de leurs soucis, de leurs peines comme de leurs joies. Quand il m’est donné de discuter avec tel ou tel, je peux partir de leur vécu que je connais déjà.

Ainsi, Muriel, bientôt quinze ans. Elle a fait quelques semaines plus tôt, le voyage Lyon – Bordeaux, en train, seule, pour aller passer une semaine chez une copine. Je savais que les voyages et le séjour s’étaient très bien passés. Elle avait vécu très certainement une foule d’anecdotes, mais je n’en étais pas curieux. Je la trouve assise sur les bordures en béton qui délimitaient le parking. Elle s’était isolée pour écouter sa musique préférée sur son smartphone « pour me ressourcer ». Je m’assois à côté d’elle. Elle est heureuse de pouvoir discuter un moment avec moi, en face à face.

Je lui demande ce qu’elle a ressenti de son voyage, ce qu’elle en garde. Muriel est une meneuse car elle a un don de stratégie. Elle sait voir les composantes d’une scène, les analyser, et les mettre en perspective dynamique pour motiver une opération. Après l’avoir écoutée avec délices, je lui demande si je peux relever ce qui me semble le plus important. Sa mise en perspective me semblait en effet un peu terne. J’ai vu son regard pétiller comme celui d’un gamin attendant de rentrer dans le salon où le père Noël a posé les jouets.

Elle avait commencé par me dire qu’elle avait jubilé d’être seule, pour pouvoir rentrer dans son intimité, sans crainte d’être dérangée par sa mère ou ses sœurs. Elle a un grand besoin de ce recueillement. Malheureusement, sa vie trépidante et le fait de partager sa chambre avec sa petite sœur ne lui permet pas. Elle avait tenu enfin une belle occasion. Je ne lui en avais pas demandé plus. Mais j’insiste maintenant sur la nécessité, pour une jeune comme elle qui se construit, d’être en contact avec le point le plus intime de son être. J’évoque les trois « soi » de Jung : persona, ombre et imago dei, comment ils se manifestent et comment ils interagissent. Je témoigne de l’Esprit divin qui pour les chrétiens habite cette intimité et l’anime dans l’amour vécu concrètement.

Puis, elle avait parlé de son excitation à découvrir les Landes et la côte landaise, chez une famille qui ne ressemblait en rien à la sienne. Elle avait associé le plaisir de découvrir des gens différents et de vivre avec eux, avec celui de découvrir une nature inconnue. Je lui explique alors que notre cheminement dans la vie est intimement lié à l’étonnement dont nous sommes capables. Qu’il dépend de notre disponibilité, de notre courage à prendre les risques nécessaires pour l’approfondir, et de notre intelligence ou de notre cœur pour faire le tri avant d’agir. En résumé : servir notre étonnement avec disponibilité, courage et intelligence. Ça lui parle bien.

Je n’aurais jamais imaginé être grand-père de cette façon. Mais croyez-moi, je suis comblé !


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Tous droits réservés © Daniel Dubois – Décines, 2015

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